Emotional Health (Valentine's Day Special)

Happy Valentine's Day!

I wasn't going to do anything Valentine's Day themed, but then I realized it would be a great time to talk about emotional health as related to relationships. Emotional health is important in relationships, including friendships and romantic relationships.

I went through a long and drawn out breakup recently and I have definitely learned the importance of emotional health through that. I was very emotionally involved in the relationship and the other person was going through a hard time and couldn't be as involved. It was hard for me to understand that at the time. I learned that I can't always hold other people to my personal standards. I also learned that a relationship needs to have the same level of emotional commitment and involvement in both parties to be successful.

People also have different ways of processing emotions, and that is totally ok. I may be a verbal processor, but someone else may be an internal processor. Sometimes we have to understand that difference and give another person space to process in their own way. At the same time, however, if you are in a committed relationship, you should process through hard things together. Emotions are an important part of every person and play a role in relationships. You can't push away your emotions or refuse to share them with someone you care about. It has to be balanced between personal processing and processing in the relationship.

I also want to address emotions in friendships. Friends should also be able to help each other process through emotions while giving each other the space to process personally. Communicating your emotions is important too. You need to be respectful and listen to the other person, offer any advice or insight, and then talk about how you feel. Support is a necessary part of friendships (as well as romantic relationships) and emotions are involved in that.

This can also be applied to conflict. It is important to talk about your emotions and how the other person's actions or words make you feel in a respectful way. You should use "I" language, saying, "When you do _____, I feel ____." When talking through conflict, try to keep your emotions under control and avoiding crying or yelling.

On a personal level, I just want to say that emotions are a part of life. We can't ignore them and let them build up, eventually exploding in anger or bursting into tears. I am still learning to acknowledge and talk through my emotions with God, my friends, and my family. The other day, I broke down and sobbed for ten minutes about my breakup, and I felt so much better afterward. I let myself express the pain I felt, which helped me feel better about it.

I encourage you to think about your emotions and how they relate to your relationships. If you need to talk to someone about them, find your closest friend or family member. Know yourself and how you process. If you don't think emotions are being handled well in a relationship, talk to the other person. If a relationship is draining your emotions and you would be healthier without it, end that relationship. On the other hand, if you can't invest emotionally in a specific relationship right now, end it. I just ended a relationship earlier today that I was not able to invest in emotionally at the stage I am in right now, and while it was hard, I know it was the right thing to do. Don't avoid talking about emotions or addressing them in relationships. Make good decisions now and they will be easier than if you wait.

Have a wonderful Valentine's Day. Know that you are loved!